I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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