Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Randomize
