Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
