Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
