i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize