Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Randomize
