just come out here and I will go home with you...
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
