How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
