Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Randomize
