i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
