Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Randomize
