How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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