Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
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