hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
