so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
