Pappa wants mamma naked
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Randomize
