standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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