Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
