i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
