I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
