dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize