...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
The dick lei will go down in squad history
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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