By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize