today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
We are two peas in an std pod
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
