based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
