I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
