did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
