a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
