You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
