god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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