I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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