You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
It's like God shit irony all over that family
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I had to cum in my sink.
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