Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
