i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
