i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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