O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
