woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize