bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
be right there i have to get my cape
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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