He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I just want to make out with him forever
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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