I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
