I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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