Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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