i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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