You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
i believe in u and ur pee
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize