i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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