I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize