im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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