Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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