i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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