The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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