Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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