i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
