he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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