Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
