I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Boobs are out for the taking
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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