dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
