do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
