I only kidnapped one of them. chill
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
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